C.W. Thomas: Facing Your Fears

Showing posts with label Facing Your Fears. Show all posts

Monday, February 8, 2016

Beta Readers Aren't That Scary

There. I did it. For the first time ever I sent out a novel to a team of beta readers.

Scary? Check.
A test of patience? Check.
Invaluable? Check, check!

Beta reading has proven to be one of the most valuable assets in the indie authors stash of secret weapons. If you're scared about this or suffer from the dreaded "I can't let anyone read my work!" syndrome, you're not alone. But here's some truths about working with beta readers that might help put your mind at ease.

They're just as grateful as you are

Ok, first of all, they're all really nice. I hand picked my team to include a variety of people—a couple friends whose opinions I trusted, a few peers I knew professionally, and a few people I didn't know so well who I believed would give me an honest opinion. Not a single one of them was ungrateful to be given a free book to read.

Think about it, unless you're an all-around terrible person you're not going to spit all over a gift, and you're certainly not going to come down like a hammer on an innocent author looking for feedback. The truth is that most of your beta readers are going to be grateful to be a part of the process, and in return, they’ll be kind about their feedback.

There may be some a-holes, but we'll talk about them in a minute.

They're actually really encouraging

My readers gave me all kinds of constructive criticism, but every single one of them also gave me great words of encouragement. After reading an email from one of them I would always feel elated, like I'd just won a sort of mini lottery! I'd feel inspired to go write some more, which is the opposite of what I was expecting to feel.

They're going to strengthen your story

I've known many authors over the years who get a very high opinion of themselves and their work. Any changes made to their story not thought of by them are stupid changes. I argue that this kind of thinking is itself stupid.

Your beat readers are going to come back with suggestions about the plot, comments about where they were confused, remarks about what parts of the story that didn't make sense, and all of it, if you soak it in and weigh it against your artistic vision, can help improve your book. Obviously, you don't have to accept every suggestion your beta readers make—you don't have to accept any of them, in fact!—but changes are they're going to think of things that you have yet to consider. A writer so high-on-his-horse that he can't take this kind of feedback and turn it into something valuable is missing out on a massive opportunity to enrich his book.

Dealing with a nasty beta reader

I didn't have any meanies in my group of beta readers, but I know they're out there. Negative Nancys. Debbie Downers. Jealous Johns. And my advice to you in this department is simple: scrap 'em.

Years ago I made the decision that I didn't want negative people in my life. Negative people attract negative energy and negative circumstances. It's true. I've seen it happen. Negative people live miserable lives and they often don't realize that the reason their lives are such a mess is because they're so miserable.

If a person can't offer constructive criticism I don't listen to them. Might they have had something valuable to say? Sure. But if in the process of listening to them it's going to raise my blood pressure, forget it. Cut them off.

It's not possible to cut out ALL negativity from your life. Let's face it, that's just life. But in the years since I've been making a more concentrated effort to attract and keep positivity I've found that the kind of energy around me and the kind of energy I'm able to put out is more creative, more fun, and more rewarding.

Other tips for getting the most out of your beta readers

1. Be leery of people who love giving advice.
These people often just love to hear themselves talk and they usually don't know as much as they think they do. They might be thorough, but they'll also be super annoying. Recruit them at your own risk.

2. Send your manuscript strategically.
While there is no “right” way to send your manuscript to beta readers, I suggest doing it in “rounds.” A few people will receive the first draft. After you get their feedback and revise accordingly, you’ll send it out again to other beta readers who can give feedback based on the new revisions. That means you have a chance to organize who will see which draft.

I sent my first draft to a writing buddy that I've been friends with for many years. She's not an editor or a proofreader, but she IS a great gauge of storytelling, pacing, and character development. Her "bird's eye view" of my overall novel provided valuable insight for me during later revisions. More completed drafts of my manuscript I sent to people I knew would look at it from different points of view.

If your beta readers are the type of people who will buy your book and you get positive feedback, then you know you’re doing something right.

3. Be specific with your questions.
Ask your readers specific questions about the manuscript, like did the character’s motives make sense? Were there any scenes you felt were unnecessary? Were there words/phrases overused that seemed to distract from the story? Was the ending satisfying? Believable? Did the descriptions and emotions feel real to you? Questions will help them focus their thoughts and help you get the most out of their feedback.

I should have been more intentional about this with all of my beta readers because I got the best feedback when I did.

Using beta readers doesn’t have to be a scary process. In fact, they should be an important part of writing that can take your story to a whole new level!

Wednesday, September 23, 2015

"Facing Your Fears" Wrap-Up

I once heard a great little maxim: "A writer is halfway done the moment he begins."

It's a true enough statement, but why is it true? Because for many writers overcoming fear is the biggest obstacle. Sometimes just beginning is what it takes to overcome the manacles of "maybe" and "might" and "what if." Sometimes all we have to do is start.

And then all we have to do is keep going.

We can study great writing. We can absorb good advice (like you're doing now. *wink, wink*). We can accumulate lists of dos and don’ts, but until we learn to keep on keeping on we're doing nothing except gathering information. Information, I'll add, that is useless until it's put into practice.

A child learns to ride a bike by riding a bike. There's no other way to teach them.

Likewise, a writer learns to write by writing. Sounds simple enough, right? Sure, unless fear is holding you back.

Over the past few (okay, many) weeks, I've examined some of the different aspects of a writer's fear—the fear of looking foolish, of being called out on our grammatical mistakes, of being boring, of being misunderstood or unliked, of failing, of not meeting our expectations—and, as I've said before, every single fear a writer can have stems from one commonality: they all MIGHT come true.

But we'll never know unless we begin.

Maya Angelou once said, “There is no greater agony  than bearing an untold story inside you.”

Your fear may be telling you that your words don't matter, but that is a lie. Your words do matter. Your story matters. Your story may only ever bless one single person, but until you write it and get it out there you'll never know.

If I had cancer and only three days left to live, and if I found myself sitting face-to-face with you, a writer paralyzed by fear, this is what I'd scream at you regardless of how many people thought me a lunatic:

Don't be afraid to be you! Write what's in your heart. Who cares if the world thinks you're nuts. The universe has put this on you to write, so write it already!

Don't get tied up in grammar and technical mistakes now. Yes, those things are important, but you'll get to them during the later editing stages. For now, just write!

Don't try to be perfect, just write!

Don't worry about failing. Everyone fails. It's how we learn, so just write!

And, for the love of Christmas, just write, damn it!

So let your fingers fly across your keyboard today—or if you're really old school: the typewriter, or if you're really, really old school: the piece of paper. Whatever you've got, just have at it. Enough stalling, enough procrastinating, enough excuses, it's time to overcome fear and get to work.

Now, if you'll excuse me I need to go follow my own advice. :-)

Face Your Fears

Part 1: Identify Fear
Part 2: Admit You're Afraid
Part 3: Shift Your Focus
Part 4: Overpowering Perfectionism
Part 5: Navigating Hardships
Part 6: Retrain Bad Habits
Part 7: Do What Scares You
Part 8: Hold Your Course
Part 9: Be Logical
Part 10: Fearing Fear

Tuesday, August 18, 2015

Face Your Fear And Fuel Your Writing Part 10: Fearing Fear

Over the next ten weeks I'll be examining fear, mining from my own experience and from what I've witnessed in my peers. Hopefully this will hit some nerves (good nerves, though!) and help other writers navigate the waters of fear and find success.

#10 Set Yourself Free Of Fearing Fear

I recently made a trip to Nashville. It was utter misery. Not that Nashville itself was miserable, the city is actually quite a lot of fun—and the sweet tea? Oooh, the sweet tea!—but repeated car trouble had left me stranded with no idea of when I could drive back home. How long am I going to be stuck here? What about my job? How do I get back home? How much is this going to cost? Oy vey!

Oh, and then I got in an accident with the rental car that I had to use in the meantime, but that's another story.

After a nightmare of a weekend I called the mechanic on Monday to see how my car was doing, terrified that I would get more bad news. I got more bad news—I was going to be stuck in Nashville for another three days. Well, at least my insurance was covering most of the problem.

I hung up the phone and, to my surprise... I felt fine. The news I received wasn't great, but it could've been worse. At least I knew what was going to happen.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that fear isn’t the problem—fearing fear is where we run into trouble.

Remember those famous words from Franklin D. Roosevelt's first inaugural address: "Let me assert my firm belief that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself—nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance."

FDR was essentially telling the American people that their fear was making things worse.

When we are able to exit the crazy mental loop of fear we’ll be in a better place to see clearly, aspire meaningfully, and stop tripping over our own self-defeating feet.

Beating a fear of fear doesn't mean all of our lofty goals are realized and our dreams come true. It simply means that when we're no longer fretting over the unknown we have more room to breathe, experiment, and evolve as writers when we’re not squeezed into those small and invented stories that have been dictated to us by fear.

Your life and your writing are both precious resources. Don’t waste a drop of either. Take charge of fear by not letting it control you. When you can finally start to see around the obstacle of fear you have a chance to step into your greatest potential.

The Rest of This Series

Tuesday, August 11, 2015

Face Your Fear And Fuel Your Writing Part 9: Be Logical

#9 Dose Fear With Logic

As I've said before, our fear exists to keep us safe. When you're in a new city your fear helps you identify certain parts of town you may wish to avoid if you're out walking about all alone. Fear keeps you from getting too close to the edge of the Grand Canyon. Fear keeps you from swimming too far out into the ocean where dangerous currents or sharks could harm you.

Sometimes fear overreacts. Though it may have your best interests at heart, there are times when it just needs to be reasoned with.

For example, consider an inquiry process like this:

YOU: Why have I been procrastinating so much lately?
FEAR: Because you know if you finish your book you might find out it's bad. If you never finish it, you'll never have to hear the bad news. You'll be safer that way.
YOU: Who is going to say my work is bad?
FEAR: Critics. Other writers. Readers.
YOU: Maybe. Maybe not.
FEAR: Are you sure you want to take that chance?
YOU: I'd rather get some feedback, good or bad, so I can improve myself as a writer. Besides, I have confidence in my work. I believe it's good.

Your fear will have to agree.

If you are feeling fear, you are likely perceiving danger. The harder you try to silence the fear, the louder it will get to try to protect you. Therefore, I propose that you lean into that fear, and really listen to what it wants you to know. Then reason with it. Reason with yourself. You'll find that fear sometimes doesn't have a leg to stand on.

The Rest of This Series

Tuesday, August 4, 2015

Face Your Fear And Fuel Your Writing Part 8: Hold Your Course

#8 You Can't Steer A Still Ship

Ever kayak? I love kayaking. It's an interest that both my wife and I share. One thing you can't do in a kayak, or in any boat for that matter, is try to steer without moving. If you're just sitting there in a calm body of water and stick your paddle under the surface, nothing is going to happen. Without a current or forward momentum, you can't steer that kayak to go anywhere.

How does this translate to writing? Simple: writers with defined goals have a better chance of achieving them, and therefore give fear less of an opportunity to throw them off course.

If you have something more interesting to focus on than fear, it’s far less likely that fear will hog the spotlight of your attention. One way to hold your focus and build forward momentum is to clearly articulate for yourself why you’re working on a particular piece of writing, what motivates you to stay with it, and what the imagined end result will be.

For example, if you know that the article you're writing about famous women in history is going to teach you something that aligns with your core values, you have an intrinsic reward that's worth fighting for. If you work for a newspaper or magazine and understand that when you finish your articles you'll get a paycheck, you're more likely to invest yourself in what you're writing about. If you have a chapter by chapter outline of that novel, then you can see the end result and don't have to worry so much about running into hick-ups in the narrative.

When you have your eyes set on the next goal you create forward momentum. When fear creeps back in, it's easier to steer around it because your moving toward your goal.

The Rest of This Series

Tuesday, July 28, 2015

Face Your Fear And Fuel Your Writing Part 7: Do What Scares You

#7 Do What Scares You

I was a very shy, anti-social teenager. I was nerdy. I was awkward. I was like red meat for playground bullies. When I grew up and took a job at a local newspaper I had a hard time coming out of my shell—making phone calls, interviewing people, walking up to police officers and politicians and striking up a conversation to "get the inside scoop." People terrified me, and, honestly, they still do. I much prefer to live in my little bubble.

But I actually love talking to people now. After six months at the newspaper making phone calls to complete strangers felt like second nature. I could walk up to anyone on the street and strike up a conversation with them. To this day I'm continually embarrassing my wife because I'll talk with anyone about anything.

My point is simple: It's worth it spending time doing the things that scare you because the more familiar you get with those things the less intimidating they will become.

Be smart about it, of course, and assess whether this thing you fear can do you harm. If the answer is yes, don't do it. Obviously. If the answer is no, then I invite you to make a point of doing that very thing as much as you can until you exhaust fear's charge around it.

This process will likely take time, but once you beat down that fear by wearing it thin you'll find yourself a more confident person.

The Rest of This Series

Tuesday, July 21, 2015

Face Your Fear And Fuel Your Writing Part 6: Retrain Bad Habits

#6 Retrain Your Bad Habits

Do you tend to write and rewrite an endless succession of drafts, unable to decide when a piece is finished? This is actually a common problem I hear from many writers. They often struggle to get any work done on other parts of their work because they're continually revising one particular chapter—usually chapter one.

Or maybe you're on the flip side of this problem and you hesitate even starting on a writing project because it feels too daunting, you haven't fleshed out the next chapter, or it just seems too difficult.

If you can relate to this, try setting some performance standards for yourself.

Give yourself a time limit. Say, for example, that you just keep revising and revising and revising chapter 2 of your awesome novel. Tell yourself that today you're only going to work on it for 10 minutes and then you're going to move onto chapter 3. If you're on the flip side of this problem and you can't even get started, give yourself 10 minutes to sit down and write. MAKE yourself do it. Whatever happens, happens, and then you can go procrastinate by watching TV or scrolling through Facebook. Just. Do it. Once your writing starts to come out you'll find your flow, but, like all good habits, it will take discipline and practice.

The point is to balance all the time you're wasting—be it procrastinating on a task or spending too much time on said task—with time spent on things that actually advance your goals.

I have a personal rule I try to follow when I'm working on a book: I won't create more than three drafts of a chapter before moving onto the next. Oh, I'll come back to those chapters when the book is finished and revise some more, but not until all the rest of the chapters have had the attention of three drafts. The point of this is so that I don't get in my own way.

Like any practice, the more you implement whatever standards you’ve set, the more reliable you will become. Experiment with your own ways to accept and move through your resistance.

The Rest of This Series

Tuesday, July 14, 2015

Face Your Fear And Fuel Your Writing Part 5: Navigating Hardships

#5 Don’t Make Things Harder Than They Need To Be

Here's the truth about fear. It makes things hard. And if you’re used to approaching your writing life from a place of fear, you’re likely to believe that being a writer is really hard. You may even dread sitting down to write. Over time your subconscious is going to wake up to the belief that: writing = bad. And then you won't find yourself carving out time to write anymore.

Fear gets us all knotted up in such a way that we have to work twice as hard at writing, publishing, promoting and presenting just to overcome our own resistance. Such an attitude lands you shoulder-to-boulder, on an eternal uphill climb. This gets tiring fast.

When you find yourself working at a pace that feels unreasonable or exhausting, take a step back to consider whether or not fear is at play. Being driven to accomplish and succeed can be a very useful quality in the writing life. But your drive could also be the fear of failure in disguise.

Sometimes, just being still is all our writing lives need from us. I've even heard it said that the subconscious continues to work when we're asleep. I can attest to this. While working on Children of the Falls, the first book in the series ended up becoming so long that I split it in half. Suddenly I found myself in need of another title, and I struggled for days to come up with one. Then one night I dreamed of giving book 2 the title of book 1, and I woke that morning with a whole new title for book 1 sitting on my tongue.

So, take a break. Take a nap. Give your brain some rest and then come back. More will happen creatively.

Now imagine a writing life that isn't so hard, that's made a little easier because the creative juices flow a little more freely. Fear doesn't have any time to take hold because you're having too much fun! I’ll bet you could work faster and more efficiently—and even get better results—without fear weighing you down.

The Rest of This Series

Tuesday, July 7, 2015

Face Your Fear And Fuel Your Writing Part 4: Overpowering Perfectionism

#4 Overpower Perfectionism

If you were to ask me if I'm a perfectionist, I'd have to say yes. It's one of those things that's like, "Once an addict, always an addict." Even though I'm living a life of recovery from perfectionism, it will always be a potential pitfall.

The conclusion I've reached after years of battling perfectionism is that perfectionism is not a helpmate. It's a hindrance. Though there is a side to perfectionism that can drive you to make something better, there is another side that just delays, and delays, and delays... and ultimately gets you nowhere.

Many of us have this idea that we’re meant to be perfect as writers. Instead, try thinking of your writing as akin to your fingerprints. They are what they are—unique patterns that exclusively represent you—not good or bad or better or worse than anyone else’s.

Instead of trying to perfect your writing, then, strive to get acquainted with this pattern and become more and more proficient at expressing it. There is no endpoint in this process, and we will never arrive at “perfect.” So why not give up the chase right now, and just enjoy the resonance and beauty of our humble, flawed writing as it is? As Leonard Cohen sings, “There is a crack in everything. That’s how the light gets in.”

Rather than “perfect” as an end goal, try setting your sights on “finished,” and see if that gives you a bit more appreciation for the light that seeps in.

The Rest of This Series

Tuesday, June 30, 2015

Face Your Fear And Fuel Your Writing Part 3: Shift Your Focus

#3 Ignore the Endgame... For Now

Fear almost always has to do with the unknown. What if they hate my poetry? What if my books don't sell? What if the publisher says I suck?

But if you KNEW your book was going to successful and loved, you'd run to the post office to mail your manuscript as soon as possible, and probably even pay the exorbitant price of overnight shipping. If you KNEW your parachute would open and that you would land on the ground totally unharmed, you might give skydiving a try. Right? (Hehehe...)

Fear tends to be focused on projected outcomes—which we cannot definitively know. So, why not use fear as a signal to turn your attention to your process instead? When you give your attention to following through on a goal, taking steps to improve your craft, researching places to submit, or reading that book on marketing, you are creating a forward motion that makes it harder for fear to hold you back.

You don't have to TOTALLY ignore the results you want. Obviously, there are long-term goals to consider here, but when the ultimate result becomes your focus it distracts from all that can be accomplished in the now, especially the creative stuff.

Now, you've got an unfinished something sitting somewhere don't you? Go attack it, dude!

The Rest of This Series

Tuesday, June 23, 2015

Face Your Fear And Fuel Your Writing Part 2: Admit You're Afraid

Fear can be so damaging, crippling us to the point of leaving us stagnant. Heck, writing this series of blogs was intimidating enough at times. I'd ask myself, "Why am I doing this? Do I even know what I'm talking about? Who am I to write about fear? I'm no expert!" And the more questions I asked, the more fearful I became of writing this. Surely there are experts better equipped than this poor sap.

But, hey, I've felt fear. I know what it's like to hover over that blank page and wonder if I'm good enough to write what I want to say. I've opened that letter of rejection just dreading the criticism. I've read those emails from readers calling my work... all sorts of nasty things.

But, fortunately, when it comes to fear, I've had my small measures of success in rising above it. So maybe I've got a thing or two to share that will help. Like how conquering fear isn't really about conquering fear. It's simply saying, "Yep, I'm afraid."

#2 Admit You're Afraid Without Letting Fear Take Over

When we're afraid, there's a plethora of inner voices that come to life and tell us all sorts of lies—that we're not good enough, that no one cares about what we have to say, that we're alone, that we're too weird... whatever. These negative thoughts can short-circuit our creativity if we let them, so it's up to us to re-wire our thinking so that we can short-circuit fear.

In the film A Beautiful Mind, when someone from the Nobel Prize committee asks schizophrenic mathematician John Nash how he silenced the voices that threatened to interfere with his work and his life, Nash replies something to the effect of, “I didn’t. They’re talking to me right now. I have simply made a choice to stop engaging with what they’re saying.”

This is every writer’s opportunity with fear—to learn to live with the negative stories that get airtime in our minds without letting them limit what we know we are called to do.

Chances are good that your fear is just trying to protect you from feeling pain. And this is good. This is the way we are wired as human beings. But fear can usually be reasoned with. Once you convince your mind that even if that manuscript gets rejected, you're going to be ok. Even if your beta readers are overly critical, there will still be some good feedback to mine from. Tell your fear that you'll never reach your goals without taking some risks. Once you convince it that you’re going to be just fine, it will likely let up, and eventually even shut up for good.

The Rest of This Series

Tuesday, June 16, 2015

Face Your Fear And Fuel Your Writing Part 1: Identify Fear

You stare at the blank page.

You hesitate dropping that manuscript in the mail box.

You look out at the audience with your book in your lap and butterflies in your stomach.

For a writer, there are many things that can trigger fear. Sometimes that fear is so intimidating that we don't move at all. Our books don't get written. Our poems don't get read. Our words don't get published. And that's when fear becomes a problem.

Over the next ten weeks I'll be examining fear, mining from my own experience and from what I've witnessed in my peers. Hopefully this will hit some nerves (good nerves, though!) and help other writers navigate the waters of fear and find success.

#1 Identify Fear

Fear is neither good nor bad. It’s simply an emotional reaction that lets us know where we are meeting or anticipating challenge. Fear can be healthy when you're doing something like touring the Grand Canyon and you don't want to fall over the edge. The fear of gravity is merely self-preservation at work. So is the fear of rotating lawn mower blades, live electrical wires, and great white sharks (actually, my shark fear may have more to do with seeing Jaws when I was eight, but, never mind...)

Fear becomes a problem when we do (or don’t do) something to try to avoid feeling it. For example, if we let the fear of rejection prevent us from sending in that manuscript, we are ensuring that we’ll never realize our aspirations.

It can be difficult identifying fear when it's subtle. If you’re overperforming, underperforming or avoiding performing altogether, chances are good that fear is in play.

For example, did you ever consider that the piece of writing you just can’t get right—and therefore endlessly revise—may be a reflection of your fear? Fear of perfection, maybe? Fear of pleasing others? Fear of not measuring up to someone's standard? When we find fear at the root of a challenging habit or behavior, we are fortunate—because with awareness, we have choices. And choices lead to progress :-)

Where might fear be creeping into your life?

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Monday, February 8, 2016

They're just as grateful as you are

They're actually really encouraging

They're going to strengthen your story

Dealing with a nasty beta reader

Other tips for getting the most out of your beta readers

Wednesday, September 23, 2015

Face Your Fears

Tuesday, August 18, 2015

#10 Set Yourself Free Of Fearing Fear

The Rest of This Series

Tuesday, August 11, 2015

#9 Dose Fear With Logic

The Rest of This Series

Tuesday, August 4, 2015

#8 You Can't Steer A Still Ship

The Rest of This Series

Tuesday, July 28, 2015

#7 Do What Scares You

The Rest of This Series

Tuesday, July 21, 2015

#6 Retrain Your Bad Habits

The Rest of This Series

Tuesday, July 14, 2015

#5 Don’t Make Things Harder Than They Need To Be

The Rest of This Series

Tuesday, July 7, 2015

#4 Overpower Perfectionism

The Rest of This Series

Tuesday, June 30, 2015

#3 Ignore the Endgame... For Now

The Rest of This Series

Tuesday, June 23, 2015

#2 Admit You're Afraid Without Letting Fear Take Over

The Rest of This Series

Tuesday, June 16, 2015

#1 Identify Fear

The Rest of This Series