From Un-Me To Real Me: What I Learned From Horror Movies

Part 3

I've been reflecting on my journey as a writer, how psychological horror movies began influencing my style, pushing me beyond boundaries that my co-author wasn't comfortable with.

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I was 15 years old when I saw the movie Se7en, with Brad Pitt, Morgan Freeman, and Kevin Spacey as a sadistic serial killer who technically didn't kill anyone.

The weird thing about Se7en is that it didn't scare me. It disturbed me. For weeks after seeing it I couldn't get it out of my mind. It was disgusting, but it was brilliant. It was horrifying, but it was beautiful. It was directed with perfection, but it looked utterly sickening.

Other horror movies that had a similar impact on me around that age included The Silence of the Lambs, Misery, Stir of Echoes, and In The Mouth of Madness.

Let me be clear on this one point—these movies didn't scare me. Very little scared me, in fact. My father taught me a lot about movies and prosthetics and fake blood, so my reaction to scary monsters wasn't to hide under the covers, but rather with wide-eyed fascination exclaim, "Whoa, what excellent make-up!"

But there was something about these psychological horror movies that stuck in my mind.  I couldn't figure out why I was so captivated by these stories and yet sickened at the same time.

It hit me in two parts.

First, I realized that these horror films were rising above the once popular slasher genre of the 80s by delving into something deeper—the human psyche. To me monsters like Chucky, Dracula, and werewolves, were nothing compared to the evil tendencies that lived inside people.

Secondly, and perhaps most importantly, I found that the movies that disturbed me the deepest taught me the most. Because after being so unsettled by something I felt compelled to figure it out. For example, after being traumatized by Se7en I dove into the Bible to learn about the Seven Deadly Sins (which are not the same ones used in the movie, by the way). I started reading books about serial killers and studied criminal psychology in college. I loved plunging the depths of human nature, the supernatural, and nightmares.

The movies that shook me up were the movies that got me thinking, got me learning, got me reading, got my creative juices flowing.

I don't know why I wasn't motivated by green fields with butterflies and rainbows. *shrugs* Whatever. We can't all be Lucy Maud Montgomery.

I believe there's a lot of truth in some of those scientific studies linking horror movies to depression, anger, and temperament. (What's Going On In Your Body When You Watch A Horror Movie, 5 Scientific Ways Watching Movies Effects You). Horror movies don't have the same impact on everyone, so take that with a grain of salt, but I don't think my binge watching horror movies was all that healthy for me at the time. Plus, there was other life stuff going on that was weighing me down and making me depressed.

And then the Un-me started to UNravel.

To be continued...