New Hampshire’s Hatchland Farm’s Coffee Milk Reigns

Maui has it's perks, but when I get a hankerin' for Coffee Milk I'm screwed.

Some people put milk in their coffee. At Hatchland Farms in North Haverhill, New Hampshire they put coffee in their milk, a thick, creamy blend of delicious milk with a coffee flavor. It’s unlike anything you’ve ever tasted.

Coffee milk was one of the few things on my list of “must haves” when we recently made a visit to family and friends in Vermont and New Hampshire.

For me, hot coffee on a hot summer morning isn’t all it should be. I love coffee—though I’ve cut back the amount I intake significantly in recent years—but I can’t drink it when I already wake up sweating and it’s 90 degrees outside. Enter Hatchland Farm’s Rippin’ Good Coffee Milk to save the day. It’s the perfect summer morning drink—cool, refreshing, with a punch of coffee to get me started.

Hatchland Farms is a family owned and operated business that produces and processes their own milk and ice cream products. The farm produces milk from 400 cows, processes it on the farm, and sells it to home delivery customers as well as retail stores throughout New England.

Trip Advisor rates Hatchland Farm’s ice cream as the “best in the north country!”

Make Hatchland Farm’s ice cream stand in North Haverhill, NH, a must stop if you decide to visit the North Country!

8 Things We've Learned About Maui

There is no such thing as a perfect paradise on Earth, but Maui comes pretty darn close. Warm ocean waters teeming with beautiful sea life. Breathtaking views from all over the island. Food so good you'll think you're dreaming. And enough zip-lining, boat-riding, parasailing, surfing, swimming, hiking, and sun-tanning to occupy adventurists of any age.

Ultimately—as our chill surf instructor would say—"It's all cool, bro."

Still, this paradise isn't without its drawbacks. I'm totally nitpicking here, but for anyone looking to vacation on Maui, here are 8 things you might want to keep in mind.

1. Bad Directions

For some reason the locals don't know how to give directions, so if you get directions, make sure they are very, very specific. Because sometimes "hang right and it's on your left" really means "turn right, drive two miles, you'll see a really complicated intersection with lots of touristy stuff, but if you turn left down the really narrow one way road that you can't really see because of the palm trees and keep your eyes looking to the left you'll eventually see a really small building with a tiny pink sign that says Hala-ooh-I-Can't-Pronounce-This-Word in minuscule print and that'll be right next to where you want to go."

Other times it's as simple as, "See that sign that says, 'Do not enter'? Enter there." (Seriously, someone said that to us, but, hey, it got us where we wanted to go.)

2. Beware the Tip Jar

Maui is all about tourism, which means most of the locals work in the service industry and thrive off tips.

This gets especially irritating when you book a tour as part of a "package deal," like we did with our sunrise/bicycle/zip line tour. We had no less than five different people to tip—the bus driver who picked us up, the sunrise tour guide, the bicycle tour guide, the zip line guys, and the driver who took us back. We didn't have enough cash to tip everyone, but if we had that would've easily been $80 in tips to three different companies for one excursion.

3. Timeshare Discounts

Danielle and I wanted to go on a whale-watching tour, so we went to Boss Frog's, one of Maui's top tourism meccas for anything and everything you want to do.

A Super cool dude named Mark said he had a great deal for us—a $140 dinner cruise on which we would see whales for $12 if we agreed to sit through a timeshare presentation for 90 minutes. Ninety minutes. That's nine, zero. Super Cool Mark told us if they didn't hold to that to let him know.

Dinner, a boat ride, whales, all for $12? I can suffer a 90-minute blowhard, sure.

But the dinner cruise was a disappointment. It wasn't technically a "whale watching tour," so the captain wasn't obligated to seek out whales. We saw some way out on the horizon, but not as up close as the official whale-watching boats. The food was mediocre, the drinks were disappointing, and don't even get me started on the timeshare people who did not stick to their 90-minute promise—two hours and ten minutes later we were still listening to their spiel.

Back to Super Cool Mark.

When we told him about our disappointing experience he did us a solid and sent us on a whale-watching tour at 50 percent off the listed price. Thanks, dude!

4. Rent a car.

Don't argue. Just do it.If you go to Maui, rent a car. There shouldn't be any ifs, ands, or buts about it. Your own transportation is a must. Taxis are expensive. Buses are scattered and slow. And you might have a hotel with a very rocky beach when there is a silky, sandy beach just two miles down the road. Fortunately a car came with our vacation package, and we used it every day.

5. Read the Fine Print

I knew my beach-loving wife would want a hotel room next to the ocean, so when I booked the hotel I was sure to note that I wanted a room with an "oceanfront room."

The room we got was TECHNICALLY on the oceanfront, but only because the building it was in was an oceanfront building. The room itself faced the parking lot!

I doubt it was the intention of the hotel owners to be misleading in this way. It was likely Expedia's fault for not communicating to the hotel that we had selected an oceanfront room, or perhaps Expedia duped us.

Whatever the case, when I showed the lady at the hotel's front desk my receipt for the room and that it very clearly said "oceanfront" she quickly and kindly moved us to a much better room with a majestic view of the Pacific.

So be careful when you book to read the fine print, but don't be afraid to inquire about discrepancies.

6. Lost in Translation

Speaking of communication errors, we noticed several times there was a breakdown in communication between companies—whether it was between Expedia and our hotel, the timeshare people and Super Cool Mark, or the three different companies operating our sunrise/bicycle/zip line tour.

It seemed like everyone was on their own schedules, but no one was on anybody else's.

When so many cooks are stirring the pot there needs to be better communication.

That goes for websites, too. Three times we encountered situations where what we got was not what was offered on the website—not the least of which was Anthony's, a little hippie cafe that offered picnic lunches with rentable coolers on their website. When we stopped there on the Road to Hana, we found out that lunches were more expensive than the website listed, and cooler rentals were no longer an option. You had to buy one for $8. The food wasn't that great either.

7. Hawai'i is Not America

Yes, I know Hawai'i is PART of America, but it's culture is so far removed from anything American that you'll sometimes feel like you're in a different country. Most road signs are in Hawaiian. Most locals speak Hawaiian—or some form of the Asian language. Most Hawaiians have no clue about life on the mainland. They have their own customs and quirks that can be frustrating if you're not expecting it.

8. Aloha ... You Dumb Tourist

Hawaii might be called The Aloha State, but real Hawaiians don't seem to say, "Aloha." Trust me, as a tourist, you'll get Alohaed at every corner, but if you start saying it back you'll stick out like a sore thumb.

Real Hawaiians say, "What's up, brudda!" or "What's up, sister!" They're also fond of "Hello," "Hi," and the more modern, "Hey!"

Oh, and if you think about flashing the "hang loose" hand sign, it's ok. Everybody does it. But you're not in Southern California, so don't call it "hang loose." In Hawai'i, it's the Shaka.

Moving to Maui: Surviving the Dreaded DMV

The DMV sucks. Even in Maui. Like any government-run organization it just can't do things quickly, easily, efficiently, or without the hair-pulling frustration of the latest nonsensical Common Core Standards.

Seriously, what's the greatest innovation at the DMV in the last 40 years? A bench? A “Take a number” system? Great, the DMV has finally narrowed the gap with my local super market.

All kidding aside (I know I started the above paragraph with "Seriously..." but, seriously, I'm just kidding around here.)

Anyway, when you move to Hawaii there are a few interesting things to keep in mind when it comes to transferring your driver's license, registering your car, and buying insurance.

To help you avoid the clunky process we went through, here are the steps of how things should be done.

STEP 1: What NOT to do

If you sell your vehicle with the intention of buying a new one in Hawaii, don't be so quick to cancel your insurance. When you apply for new auto insurance there are discounts offered for being "previously insured." Have your old policy number handy when you're talking to an insurance rep.

STEP 2: Earning your driver's license... again

Fortunately the DMV in Maui isn't as scary as it is everywhere else in the universe. However it is a little strange. To get your Hawaii driver's license you'll need to take a 25 question multiple-choice written test, an eye test, get your photo taken, and your thumb and index finger printed. You'll need two forms of ID (i.e. old driver's license, passport, birth certificate) and two pieces of mail confirming your place of residence in Hawaii. It's cost you about $15.

STEP 3: Passing the safety inspection

All cars in Hawaii two years old or older have to undergo a pretty strict environmental safety inspection. You will need to have proof of insurance, the vehicle's current registration (even if it's in the previous owners' name), and the title with you when you go to have this done.

STEP 4: Back to the DMV. Oh yay.

Actually, like I just said in Step 2, they've got that "Aloha spirit" at the Hawaii DMV, so it's not that bad, even if the wait time is three hours. To register your car you will need a) proof of insurance, b) safety inspection certificate, c) title, d) screwdriver for applying/removing new/old plates, e) patience, f) approximately $16.

All of these steps in this order work as a kind of combination lock. Once completed you will be welcomed into the bosom of mother Maui with a flowery lei and a luau. Ok, not really, but it'll feel like this...

Island Time: I Don't Know What It Is But It's Awesome

I think my wife and I were destined to be "islanders" the day we decided to honeymoon on Kelly's Island in Lake Erie and we got our first taste of "island time."

Actually, we wanted to hit up the roller coaster capital of the world in Sandusky, OH, but then someone told us about Kelly's Island, which is just a short ferry ride north. So on our honeymoon we rode roller coasters and spent a lot of time basking in the sun in a little island community. And I loved it!

Island time is defined differently depending on who you ask. Some say it simply means a time later than what the clock says. Others say it has to do with an unwillingness to conform to the norms and structure of modern culture.

But it's more than that.

Island time encompasses a way of life in relation to the attitude you have about the world and the people around you. It's no coincidence that islanders have far fewer worldly possessions and are happier, feeling more fulfilled with a love for life and experiences. They're enriched by enjoying every moment that passes. Not concerned about the mistakes of yesterday. Not worried about tomorrow, but fully involved in today. THAT'S island time.

When Danielle and I vacationed in Maui, HI, last January we fell in love with the place. It was like coming home, a feeling I never felt before.

Even before that, however, we were feeling called to a simpler life. We sold our house. We started downsizing our possessions. And once we got a taste of Hawai'i we slowly began the long process of moving there. Right now we hope that by January we'll officially be "islanders."

What does this mean for my writing career? I'm hopeful that nothing will change. I've been writing since I was 14. Had my first novel published when I was 18. I've authored two other books and edited, illustrated, and designed countless others.

With my fingers fully embedded into my new fantasy series Children of the Falls, I'm in for the long haul. I look forward to completing this series while sitting on the beach, enjoying the sights and sounds of the ocean, pretty girls, and pina coladas.

"Well Aren't You Just The World Traveler"

Seattle's Olympic Sculpture Park.

In January we took a celebratory trip to Maui, HI, for finally selling our home and becoming debt-free. My wife took a trip to Florida for a business convention, and we both just returned from a two-week visit to the west coast.

When people from a tiny rural part of the northeast (like us) go anywhere, they'll get bombarded upon their return with the phrase, "Well aren't you just the world traveler!" Because to go anywhere when you're home town is very, very pathetically small makes you a "big deal." Apparently.

Travel has been enlightening for my writing. Every time I visit some place new I get a different perspective on things. While we were in Oregon I kept looking around at nature and saying, "I need to figure out what kind of trees these are because this is just what I imagine the kingdom of Tay to look like!" It drove my wife nuts.

175 feet up in Seattle's famous ferris wheel. 

Dutch Bros. coffee!

Nothing grabbed my heart more than the coffee though. Up and down the west coast there are these little drive-through coffee stands called Dutch Bros. And they. Are. Amazing! My wife doesn't drink coffee, but even she was hooked on Dutch Bros. by the time we left.

We have tentative plans to visit California next month, and possibly Tennessee in July because, hey, when you become a "big deal" there's no stopping you!