Face Your Fear And Fuel Your Writing Part 3: Shift Your Focus

Over the next ten weeks I'll be examining fear, mining from my own experience and from what I've witnessed in my peers. Hopefully this will hit some nerves (good nerves, though!) and help other writers navigate the waters of fear and find success.

#3 Ignore the Endgame... For Now

Fear almost always has to do with the unknown. What if they hate my poetry? What if my books don't sell? What if the publisher says I suck?

But if you KNEW your book was going to successful and loved, you'd run to the post office to mail your manuscript as soon as possible, and probably even pay the exorbitant price of overnight shipping. If you KNEW your parachute would open and that you would land on the ground totally unharmed, you might give skydiving a try. Right? (Hehehe...)

Fear tends to be focused on projected outcomes—which we cannot definitively know. So, why not use fear as a signal to turn your attention to your process instead? When you give your attention to following through on a goal, taking steps to improve your craft, researching places to submit, or reading that book on marketing, you are creating a forward motion that makes it harder for fear to hold you back.

You don't have to TOTALLY ignore the results you want. Obviously, there are long-term goals to consider here, but when the ultimate result becomes your focus it distracts from all that can be accomplished in the now, especially the creative stuff.

Now, you've got an unfinished something sitting somewhere don't you? Go attack it, dude!

The Rest of This Series

Part 1: Identify Fear
Part 2: Admit You're Afraid
Part 3: Shift Your Focus
Part 4: Overpowering Perfectionism
Part 5: Navigating Hardships
Part 6: Retrain Bad Habits
Part 7: Do What Scares You
Part 8: Hold Your Course
Part 9: Be Logical
Part 10: Fearing Fear

Face Your Fear And Fuel Your Writing Part 2: Admit You're Afraid

Over the next ten weeks I'll be examining fear, mining from my own experience and from what I've witnessed in my peers. Hopefully this will hit some nerves (good nerves, though!) and help other writers navigate the waters of fear and find success.

Fear can be so damaging, crippling us to the point of leaving us stagnant. Heck, writing this series of blogs was intimidating enough at times. I'd ask myself, "Why am I doing this? Do I even know what I'm talking about? Who am I to write about fear? I'm no expert!" And the more questions I asked, the more fearful I became of writing this. Surely there are experts better equipped than this poor sap.

But, hey, I've felt fear. I know what it's like to hover over that blank page and wonder if I'm good enough to write what I want to say. I've opened that letter of rejection just dreading the criticism. I've read those emails from readers calling my work... all sorts of nasty things.

But, fortunately, when it comes to fear, I've had my small measures of success in rising above it. So maybe I've got a thing or two to share that will help. Like how conquering fear isn't really about conquering fear. It's simply saying, "Yep, I'm afraid."

#2 Admit You're Afraid Without Letting Fear Take Over

When we're afraid, there's a plethora of inner voices that come to life and tell us all sorts of lies—that we're not good enough, that no one cares about what we have to say, that we're alone, that we're too weird... whatever. These negative thoughts can short-circuit our creativity if we let them, so it's up to us to re-wire our thinking so that we can short-circuit fear.

In the film A Beautiful Mind, when someone from the Nobel Prize committee asks schizophrenic mathematician John Nash how he silenced the voices that threatened to interfere with his work and his life, Nash replies something to the effect of, “I didn’t. They’re talking to me right now. I have simply made a choice to stop engaging with what they’re saying.”

This is every writer’s opportunity with fear—to learn to live with the negative stories that get airtime in our minds without letting them limit what we know we are called to do.

Chances are good that your fear is just trying to protect you from feeling pain. And this is good. This is the way we are wired as human beings. But fear can usually be reasoned with. Once you convince your mind that even if that manuscript gets rejected, you're going to be ok. Even if your beta readers are overly critical, there will still be some good feedback to mine from. Tell your fear that you'll never reach your goals without taking some risks. Once you convince it that you’re going to be just fine, it will likely let up, and eventually even shut up for good.

The Rest of This Series

Part 1: Identify Fear
Part 2: Admit You're Afraid
Part 3: Shift Your Focus
Part 4: Overpowering Perfectionism
Part 5: Navigating Hardships
Part 6: Retrain Bad Habits
Part 7: Do What Scares You
Part 8: Hold Your Course
Part 9: Be Logical
Part 10: Fearing Fear

Face Your Fear And Fuel Your Writing Part 1: Identify Fear

You stare at the blank page.

You hesitate dropping that manuscript in the mail box.

You look out at the audience with your book in your lap and butterflies in your stomach.

For a writer, there are many things that can trigger fear. Sometimes that fear is so intimidating that we don't move at all. Our books don't get written. Our poems don't get read. Our words don't get published. And that's when fear becomes a problem.

Over the next ten weeks I'll be examining fear, mining from my own experience and from what I've witnessed in my peers. Hopefully this will hit some nerves (good nerves, though!) and help other writers navigate the waters of fear and find success.

#1 Identify Fear

Fear is neither good nor bad. It’s simply an emotional reaction that lets us know where we are meeting or anticipating challenge. Fear can be healthy when you're doing something like touring the Grand Canyon and you don't want to fall over the edge. The fear of gravity is merely self-preservation at work. So is the fear of rotating lawn mower blades, live electrical wires, and great white sharks (actually, my shark fear may have more to do with seeing Jaws when I was eight, but, never mind...)

Fear becomes a problem when we do (or don’t do) something to try to avoid feeling it. For example, if we let the fear of rejection prevent us from sending in that manuscript, we are ensuring that we’ll never realize our aspirations.

It can be difficult identifying fear when it's subtle. If you’re overperforming, underperforming or avoiding performing altogether, chances are good that fear is in play.

For example, did you ever consider that the piece of writing you just can’t get right—and therefore endlessly revise—may be a reflection of your fear? Fear of perfection, maybe? Fear of pleasing others? Fear of not measuring up to someone's standard? When we find fear at the root of a challenging habit or behavior, we are fortunate—because with awareness, we have choices. And choices lead to progress :-)

Where might fear be creeping into your life?

The Rest of This Series

Part 1: Identify Fear
Part 2: Admit You're Afraid
Part 3: Shift Your Focus
Part 4: Overpowering Perfectionism
Part 5: Navigating Hardships
Part 6: Retrain Bad Habits
Part 7: Do What Scares You
Part 8: Hold Your Course
Part 9: Be Logical
Part 10: Fearing Fear

Getting Over Your Fear Of Letting Others Read Your Work

What if they don't like my writing? If people say nice things they're just lying so they don't hurt my feelings. Gasp! Oh no! Someone said my writing is bad. That's it, I'm never handling the English language again! I suck. I'm awful. I'm moving to Australia!

Ok, crazy person. Relax. Sure, your mom may not be the best person to seek advice from, and, yeah, some strangers may totally crap all over your work. But here's the truth: you gotta learn to take it.

First, learn to weed out the jerks. Any critique I get that starts with something like, "This sucks! This is so stupid! I've read better work from Stephanie Meyer!" (NOTE: No one has ever compared me to Stephanie Meyer. Thank God!) I immediately disregard. I've received enough positive feedback over the years, and I have enough self-confidence to know that my writing isn't awful. It may not be everyone's cup of tea, and I know it's not the greatest American prose in history, so anyone who wants to crap all over it is just wasting my time.

Second, learn to take feedback collectively. Let's say you send out ten manuscripts for critique. One person says your main character felt too boring, while everyone else says they loved the character. Chances are that one naysayer is the one with the problem, not your main character. On the other hand, if EIGHT people say your main character reads like a floozy, they might be onto something.

Don't be like Jerry Seinfeld's mother and think that EVERYONE has to like your babies. "How could anyone not like him?"

Taking feedback gets easier. It's never fun to get a complaint, but you will learn to make critique work for you. Writing is uncomfortable, and it makes you vulnerable. You open yourself up for critique when you put written words out there. Being afraid of what others have to say is going to lead you to pulling punches. Your writing will suffer. You'll lose the truth. You'll be so afraid of getting hurt that you'll never get anything. THEN your writing will suck.

"You make this decision now to be afraid

and you'll never turn back your whole life.

You'll always be afraid."

—Unbreakable (film)

By letting others read your work prior to publication will give you perspectives on your material that you've never thought of before. Some of those perspectives will lead to new ideas that will enrich your stories and your characters more than you could ever do on your own. Closeted writing is limiting. As hard as it is to open yourself up to critique it is so essential to developing a fully realized novel.

The absolute best work you have in you is always going to be the stuff that’s closest to your heart, the stuff that’s absolutely the hardest to let another human being read. It’s risky to show people those deep and true parts of yourself, but life is risk. Look that fear in the eye, spit it in the face, and then write more effing words.